UnLiMiTeD Feelings

She was cheating on me from the early days of our relationship. I was aware of it,
Still I dragged it on and on. But with 10k a month,leave her, I could not make any girlfriend happy.
It was barely enough to bear my day to day expenses. She loved shopping, fond of picking up new dresses every time we visited any store. I was aware of it. But still I thought some day I will be rich, would buy her happiness(clothes). But for the time being, I tried showering her with love.
And then arrived the other guy. They used to often talk, for hours. Every time I shouted on her or was rude, she found a new topic of discussion with her new found friend. With hours of non stop talks, I became a hot topic of discussion. He came to know of my bad qualities and also that I am not that financially stable to compete with him. The times she needed money, he was the first one running to help her, pushing me and our relationship in the back seat. She carried on quite cleverly managing time between her boy friend and her friend. Whenever I raised a question mark on their friendship, it was me who was blamed for it, that I could not care for her so she had to seek care from external sources.

Gradually 2 years passed by, she was steady with both of us. She had to continue with me
for the sake of the society, she did not want to put a question mark on her character and
integrity. Meanwhile I tried by all means, to break this so called friendship which would make me
restless every moment. I was sunk deep in lies, lies and lies. I knew. But, I thought she would change with time, one day. Initially I tried to break them by threatening her, then by meeting new girls on facebook and chatting with them and finally pleading, begging her. I wanted her so bad. But it would hardly matter for her, whenever she found a chance, making full utilization of every opportunity.
So, although she was with me, I used to feel at times, that I am actually sitting with a stranger.

Then one fine day, my phone beeped. It was her. Rarely she found time to text or call me, which was busy with the other guy, so I was quite surprised.

"I am still in talking terms with him. I think I love him and not you. I do not want to keep you holding by any commitments. Bye"

Even though I knew this from a very long time, my life came to a stand still. I tried her number.
Late nights used to call her from office, finding it busy as usual. This was not strange.
However I did not get any return calls like earlier when she used to state that she was busy with her relatives back from home town.

My break up has taken a toll on my health. I was hardly able to sleep, tired of my wet pillows.
My appetite was lost, could hardly have a chapati. Meanwhile at office, every one around started questioning me. Asking me where I lost my smile. They missed my jokes and pranks. I used to sit quietly in the corner, do my work and return home. Some days I even failed to notice who was sitting right next to me.

She was aware of all this happenings. But it hardly mattered for her. She was enjoying her freedom to the fullest. It reminded me of her saying : "You hardly keep me space, I am choking". But with 2 years of cheating on me and still I gave her the chances of continuing, made me wonder about how much more space she ever wanted.

She was running 2 parallel relationships. One with a tag called "Boyfriend" for her friends and the society and the other called "Friend" to keep herself happy.

Gradually my friends and her friends came to know of our break up, although I had not discussed with anyone. She acted like nothing happened and as usual started blaming me for the failure of our relationship, bringing in mistakes I had done 2 years back. She said that the bitterness still existed.

I used to wonder out of 100 good things that I did for her, all she remembered the 10 bitter ones, that too which had happened 2 years back.

But that happens with everyone, when you break up, you tend to see only the bitterness in the other person.

The next day at office, I got a big surprise. I got promoted. I was really happy.
This is what I was waiting for a very long time. Now, I will have the money to buy her happiness. I was really excited.

Listening to Maroon 5 on my earphones, I was returning home, happier than ever. But due to the lack of sleep
from the past few days, my eyes shut down for a while and then there was boom.

It was complete darkness.

The next time I woke up, I was surrounded by my friends and my parents. I have never been in
an hospital for my entire life. I smell blood everywhere. It made me scared. I see almost everyone, only one was missing was her, the person I wanted to see at that moment.

I had a few fractures. At least my broken bones made me realize what I could not, all this while.
My parents brought me back to my home town. They showered me with love and attention which I
had never received in my entire life. I felt happy.

Two months later while I was still recovering, a friend from Bangalore came to visit me in my hometown. He let me know stories from Bangalore, the place I lived.
He also let me know that the other guy with the "Friend" tag went back to Delhi, patched up with his ex GF. My girl was all alone. It seemed she needed me now.

I had to come to a decision about my future. I chose to stay back in my hometown, with the people who actually loved me and want to be beside me.
Today, I am working part time as private tutor here in my hometown and have a small internet cafe, and I am typing this post from here.

(This is entirely a work of fiction and all characters are fictitious)